I'm still here, still trying. Sometimes it feels like all I do is try, but that's not quite true. It feels like I've been on a non-stop binge. My tummy hurts all the time, I often miss dinner due to being to full. I haven't been to the gym in weeks even though I really want to. I just haven't been ablle to push my head into the right space for it. I want to set up some more PT sessions to learn how to use some new equiptment, get back to using my left arm. It's lost some movement after I broke it but the strength is still there.
Despite all of that, I haven't really gained weight. I'm still sitting around the 155kg mark. Sadly I'm only 4kg off being my heaviest again.
I've been on medication for the last 12 months, fluoexitine. Together with the doctor it's been decided to try a different drug. The catch is, I have to wean off the fluoexitine first. As my dose became higher and higher I became increasingly depressed and it wasn't having a big enough effect on the OCD to make it worth continuing. I have one more week to go and then a week with nothing before starting the new medication. I don't know if I'm relying on the idea to much, but I really hope that it helps.
What else have I been doing? In amongst it all of been organizing my November wedding, working two jobs and studying for my library diploma. Online study is definitely a lot harder then I thought. I just have to keep going.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Gaining but actually Losing
Stats
Starting weight: 153.1kgs
Current Weight: 154.2kgs
A totalloss gain of: 1.1kgs
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So I'm lazy, as such I'm using my initial Weight Watchers weigh in from nearly two years ago as my start weight. That said a week ago I weighed 157.4kgs so I have actually lost a few kilos this week. I'd say 'Yay' but I did eat a very large meal of KFC chicken about 12 hours before that weigh in of 157.4kgs and I did not do the same thing this week. As well as losing a few kilos due to eating properly the night before weigh in I'd also say that some of that weight loss is that initial burst of fluid type weight loss you lose at the start of any program. I'm expecting it to level out by the time I weigh in next week.
I feel like I have the eating side of things under control at the moment, even if the retractable leash does get a bit strained at times however I do need to work at adding exercise back into my lifestyle. I've had a gym membership since I started this whole weight loss thing five years ago, sure it went through months at a time when it wasn't used at all before I'd once again, tentatively sneak in the doors and of late I've actually been enjoying some free personal training sessions with an awesome little trainer. Unfortunately the gym has just changed hands and my fee are set to double. I've been paying $13 a week this entire time but with it jumping up to $25 a week, I just can't afford it. So it's time to go shopping. Surprisingly it's actually making me feel really good.
I have never gone 'shopping' for a new gym before. I signed up at the one I did because it had a ladies only section, I didn't care about anything else. With the exception of Curves which didn't enjoy a few years ago and I doubt I'd enjoy now, none of the other gyms have in town have a ladies section, I'm gonna have to mix in with everyone else.
I had a look at my first gym today, Snap Fitness, it's certainly different to what I'm used to. Smaller, less trainers around, no classes and no sauna but I did' like it. I actually walked away feeling excited at the prospect of a fresh start. There are two other gyms in town to look at, one of which I'm nearly happy not to bother with simply because today's gym and the other left on my list are much closer to home.
The next gym I'll look at is brand new and seems to be marketed as a weight training gym but several people have said it would be great for weight loss as well. My partner is keen on that one though I'm worried I might feel a bit intimidated. We're going to have a look at that one in a couple of days when he's off night shift.
In the meantime I've grabbed my old programs from my current gym to look through and see what I did last time and I'll keep working on the eating thing. So far so good.
Starting weight: 153.1kgs
Current Weight: 154.2kgs
A total
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I'm lazy, as such I'm using my initial Weight Watchers weigh in from nearly two years ago as my start weight. That said a week ago I weighed 157.4kgs so I have actually lost a few kilos this week. I'd say 'Yay' but I did eat a very large meal of KFC chicken about 12 hours before that weigh in of 157.4kgs and I did not do the same thing this week. As well as losing a few kilos due to eating properly the night before weigh in I'd also say that some of that weight loss is that initial burst of fluid type weight loss you lose at the start of any program. I'm expecting it to level out by the time I weigh in next week.
I feel like I have the eating side of things under control at the moment, even if the retractable leash does get a bit strained at times however I do need to work at adding exercise back into my lifestyle. I've had a gym membership since I started this whole weight loss thing five years ago, sure it went through months at a time when it wasn't used at all before I'd once again, tentatively sneak in the doors and of late I've actually been enjoying some free personal training sessions with an awesome little trainer. Unfortunately the gym has just changed hands and my fee are set to double. I've been paying $13 a week this entire time but with it jumping up to $25 a week, I just can't afford it. So it's time to go shopping. Surprisingly it's actually making me feel really good.
I have never gone 'shopping' for a new gym before. I signed up at the one I did because it had a ladies only section, I didn't care about anything else. With the exception of Curves which didn't enjoy a few years ago and I doubt I'd enjoy now, none of the other gyms have in town have a ladies section, I'm gonna have to mix in with everyone else.
I had a look at my first gym today, Snap Fitness, it's certainly different to what I'm used to. Smaller, less trainers around, no classes and no sauna but I did' like it. I actually walked away feeling excited at the prospect of a fresh start. There are two other gyms in town to look at, one of which I'm nearly happy not to bother with simply because today's gym and the other left on my list are much closer to home.
The next gym I'll look at is brand new and seems to be marketed as a weight training gym but several people have said it would be great for weight loss as well. My partner is keen on that one though I'm worried I might feel a bit intimidated. We're going to have a look at that one in a couple of days when he's off night shift.
In the meantime I've grabbed my old programs from my current gym to look through and see what I did last time and I'll keep working on the eating thing. So far so good.
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